I have the greatest friends in the ENTIRE world

I can't believe it has been almost 4 years since I have graduated high school. It went by so fast. I didn't like high school much, so I don't miss it. But what I do miss about it, was being able to see my friends everyday. Of course, at college, I made new friends... but I miss some of the people that I used to see everyday 4 years ago.

Today, I got to see them!!!!!

I only talk to a few people from high school. My true friends. And, I don't know what I would do without them. I don't see them much because of college, and the fact that "life" takes over sometimes. But, when I do see them, it's like we always pick up where we last left off. It is never awkward, and I always have a ton of fun. I appreciate them and love them more than they know.

We hung out around our hometown and had dinner at the Olive Garden. We are all able to drink now, so that was fun! We all felt so old.

Then they all insisted that I dance for them. Usually, I'd be game to dance in front of whomever... but these are 3 of my closest friends and so I was feeling that it might be awkward. But, they convinced me to do some of the Rockette choreo that I learned over the summer. I brought up the piece of wood that I tap on and put my tap shoes on. I turned on the music and showed them some of what I had learned. And even though I messed up a million times, they seemed to enjoy it. That is why they are my closest friends =)

I was also overjoyed to hear that they read this blog. That makes me so happy.

So this post is for them.. my 200th post..

I love you guys. You are all the best. I had fun today and can't wait for another reunion!!

Oh and guess what... they want to help me with video taping the dance I choreographed!!!!

WOOHOO!!

I have the greatest friends in the ENTIRE world.

Love you guys.

til next time,

Karla =)

Ice baths= hell

So I think I over did it with dancing yesterday. I danced for about 3 hours... non stop. Just going over steps, doing some improv, practicing my actual dances from dance class.. and just being my normal crazy self.

When I was done..a.k.a. so horribly out of breath, spasming muscles, face beat red and dripping with sweat... I decided to relax for a bit. So, I was lying down... and I realized I could not even get up. I was extremely stiff, and tremendously sore.

That's what I get for not dancing in a few days to dancing for 3 hours straight.

Good Job Karla.

Anyway, I decided to take an ice bath. I do this sometimes when I'm sore. The Rockette's also do this! The cold water helps loosen up and rejuvenate the muscles.

It's cold and it sucks... but it's worth it. So, I did it. I was sitting in it for about 20 minutes. It was about 45 degrees. It's very, very painful.. but I felt tons better afterward.

I went out last night even though I was not initially planning on it because I was so sore. But, I am glad that I did. It got me up and moving, and it was a good time.

- Something I have noticed lately about my diet is that I am often not hungry. This has been happening since Christmas Eve. I just have had no appetite. Sometimes throughout the day, I feel like I need to force food down just to have energy. I have no inclining to eat at times. Especially in the morning and then again at night. I don't know why. I was thinking it may be because of all the holiday craziness and stress.. but I am not sure.

Because of this, I have dropped a few more pounds. I'm at 152 now. Which is fine, but I would much rather do it the "right way". I'm glad that I'm still dancing and keeping myself fairly toned. I know for sure that I am not losing muscle, which is good.

Hopefully I'll get my appetite back after all the holiday hype. Maybe it's a good thing I am not hungry often because of all the temptations that are around during this time!!

Hope you all are having a good Monday. I have a date tonight. I'm excited. Maybe for once, my Monday won't be so horrible like they usually are! Wouldn't that be nice???

Til next time,

Karla =)

What a lazy weekend..

I have accomplished nothing this weekend. Haha...

I have sat around.. and watched tv.. and read blogs.. and sat around some more..

So today, I decided to change that. I got up at 7:30am, got ready.. and danced. Danced for awhile this morning. It's no fun when I want to dance and I can't blast my music. The music needs to be deafening so that I can feel it.. and do my thing. But, with the parents home... I can't do that. So when they leave, I try to take advantage of the empty house.

Lately I have been going over a lot of Rockette choreo that I learned over the summer and through watching the xmas show a million times. This means, a lot of dancing in high heeled taps. High heeled taps=pain. Tons and tons of pain. I am feeling it now. Especially since after I danced, I took a loooong walk. It was nice, but now I'm in twice the pain.

Oh the perks of being a dancer.

I have felt like I am in a rut lately. No dance class last week.. no dance class this week, because of the holidays. It sucks. I miss it. I'm so used to dancing at least 2 hours a day when I'm home. I haven't gotten close to that this week.

I can see the difference too. I can tell that I haven't danced in awhile. I am sore... I am not as flexible... it sucks!

I need some inspiration. I have been choreographing a song... and I have hit rock bottom. I can't think of any more choreo to write with it. So it's mainly improv... I make it up as I go along. I need a song that gets my wheels turning. A song where the choreo just comes out naturally.

On a more awesome note- I got my Christmas present today from my brother. DDR 3 for Wii!!!! I am SO excited to use it!! I can't wait. I am pretty amazing at that game.

Now I just have to find someone who is willing to challenge me to a game so that I can get their you know what. ;-)

End of boring post.

til next time,

Karla =)

Review of my Christmas

Christmas was wonderful...besides some minor family drama, I had a lovely day.

The family drama basically consisted of certain family members calling me "too skinny" and saying "well, now you can STOP losing weight" when I told them that I had reached my goal, and how happy I was about it. Not too many "Congratulations!!"... definitely a whole lot of, "yeah, you really need to stop before you become invisible"

Thank you family! Ughh

So besides that...

It was a great Christmas.

I got some very nice things including a Michael Buble CD because I am in love with his voice. I also got a Victoria's Secret gift card that I cannot WAIT to use!! I got a few new items of clothing....may I just add that the shirts I was given are all SMALLS!! CRAZY!

But I would have to say... that one of my favorite gifts was not

something I asked for. It was not something hugely expensive or materialistic. It was a

simple "star" ornament with a piece of white paper attached. On the white paper was a poem written by my ever so talented Aunt.

Now.. a star.. represents the "Stardust Revue" which is the name of our dance recital every June. And the "Stardusters" are the top class of our dance school, the class that my Aunt and I are very privileged to be part of. So, I knew this poem had something to do with dance..

The picture is below.. but in case you can't read it.. it says..

"Mrs Lathrop-

To be within your company,

We're glad to have had the chance.

Our guiding and shining star

We will always see you in the dance.

2009"

Here it is with the star ornament.

So, I thought I would be strong and hold back tears... but I clearly didn't. Totally lost it right then and there and had to excuse myself. I am such an emotional basket case when it comes to her. I still cannot believe she is gone and it is hard for me to talk about her without losing it. She really was family to me, and it is especially hard now because she would usually have a New Years Eve party every year. New Years is next week and she isn't here to ring in the new year with her dancers. It will be sad.. luckily I have plans to keep my mind off of it.

Here is a picture of the grandchildren of my mother's parents. Yep, only 3 of us. My brother, my 4 year old cousin, and me. We are SO spoiled too!!

Life is good right now. Life is very, very good right now. I am really happy... for a number of different reasons. I am finally at goal weight, I am so happy with my accomplishments, I love spending time with family (most of the time!), and there is one more thing that is making me so unbelievably happy... but I'm sure some of you who read this blog often could put 2 and 2 together to figure out what that may be..... =)

I'm hoping all of you had fantastic Christmas's and that you all have good weekends!

til next time,

Karla =)

P.S. I did NOT over do it with food this year. Amazing.

Christmas!

Well... it's finally Christmas.

I am up waaay too early for my liking. It's funny.. it used to be my brother and I waking up our parents, but now its our parents waking us up. Funny how the tables have turned.

We are about to open presents... and it's... 8:15am. Ugh. AND.. Mom has the camera out. Wonderful.

Really, for me.. the presents do not even matter. I got all I wanted for Christmas.

- a happy and semi healthy family (my Mom and brother are sick.. nothing major)

- I am 30lbs lighter than I was last Christmas (WOOO!!)

- the chance to be able to see this day (I was lucky to have made it out of my car accident alive)

- a new car

- a new found happiness... =)

Merry Christmas to you all.

You all have been a blessing as well. Your constant support and comments have lifted my spirits in sad times... and inspired me. You all have been there for me through thick and thin, and I really appreciate all your comments and support.

Thank you for being there on my weight loss journey. Even though I did hit goal, I will make new goals and also begin the journey of maintaining. So I ask that you stick with me.

Merry Christmas!

til next time,

Karla =)

I cannot believe my eyes.

I weighed myself today. Just for fun. Just because. I was feeling up to it. I have danced so much lately. Worked out and have been eating really good as well. (Besides the few indulgences from Monday!)

So I decided, well... let's see how much I weigh before the holidays, and compare it to what I weigh after the holidays.

Well... to my surprise...

I step on the scale... and I started hysterically crying.

I hit goal.

I WEIGH 155 LBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes... I am still crying. (but of course, smiling)

til Christmas,

Karla =)

It's the season of giving!

I was inspired today. Inspired but a good friend of mine whose blog I have advertised on here before. He is an amazing writer and an incredible person. His post on his blog today was heartfelt and is something that all who will be celebrating Christmas on Friday should read. It will make you think, like many of his post's do... they make you think. But, like I said... it also inspired me to write my post today.

- Many years ago... my family and I suffered a great loss of a family friend. He was a close friend of my family for many years and died when I was only 3 years old. I knew him... but I don't remember him. He passed away after suffering with AIDS for many years.

I remember, after his passing... Mom signed up to for a local organization that helps families who have HIV/AIDS. Each member of my family would be given a child's Christmas list. The list usually had around 6 things on it. My earliest memory of this is when Mom would get the lists in the mail, and we would all gather around to read them. The family that we got, matched our family usually. Meaning, my Mom would shop for the Mom of the family... my Dad would shop for the Dad of the family...and my brother and I would shop for the 2 children.

I remember always having so much fun going into Toy's R' Us and picking out the different things on the list. Beanie Babies, Barbies, and disposable cameras were the usual for a girl... while action figures, matchbox cars and footballs were typical items that a boy would want.

Mom let us pick out and wrap the gifts for the children. She involved us in it, and it taught me a huge lesson. The lesson of giving to others who are less fortunate than we. You just feel good about yourself.

I remember bringing the gifts to the drop off center. Sometimes, we were even able to meet the children that we sponsored.

Today... my family and I do not sponsor families anymore. The organization folded and we have yet to find a new one. Although... my family gives in other ways now through our church.

But even still... I think it's not so much important to give presents and objects.. as it is important just to give a helping hand. Shovel out someone's driveway, hold open a door at the mall, help someone who has dropped their bags, give a friendly smile.. all these things are things that are taken for granted. But, around the holidays... it annoys me when people slam doors in your face or turn the other cheek when they have noticed that you have dropped bags and packages all over the ground (that was me this past weekend haha)

People get so flustered and crazy during this stressful holiday time and I just feel, life would be that much happier and more pleasant if people would give back in simple ways.

So, today- I have held the door open for people, and smiled! Woohoo!

And now.. I am going to give you all a little Christmas present..

I'm going to share with you one of my FAVORITE christmas cookie recipes..

and... Eve.. I'm afraid they are not low calorie or good for you in any way shape or form. But it's Christmas, so who cares, right??! Lol!

Chocolate Crinkles:

4 tablespoons (56 grams) unsalted butter

8 ounces (225 grams) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate coarsely chopped

1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated white sugar

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups (210 grams) all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Topping:

1 cup (110 grams) confectioners sugar

In a stainless steel bowl, over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter. Remove from heat and set aside. In the bowl of your electric mixer, beat the eggs and sugar until thick, pale, and fluffy. (When you slowly raise the beaters the batter will fall back into the bowl in slow ribbons.) At this point beat in the vanilla extract and then stir in the melted chocolate mixture. In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, salt, and baking powder. Add dry ingredients to the chocolate mixture, stirring just until incorporated. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm enough to shape into balls (3-4 hours or overnight). Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (170 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper, and set aside. Place the confectioners sugar in a shallow bowl. With lightly greased hands, roll a small amount of chilled dough to form a 1 inch (2.54 cm) diameter ball. Place the ball of dough into the confectioners sugar and roll the ball in the sugar until it is completely coated and no chocolate shows through. Gently lift the sugar-covered ball, tapping off excess sugar, and place on prepared baking sheet. Continue forming cookies, spacing about 2 inches (5 cm) apart on baking sheets. (If you find the dough getting too soft for rolling into balls, return to the refrigerator and let chill until firm.) Bake cookies for 8 to 10 minutes or just until the edges are slightly firm but the centers are still soft. (For moist chewy cookies do not over bake. Over baking these cookies will cause them to be dry.) Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. These cookies are best eaten the day they are baked. Makes about 3 dozen cookies. Above is what they look like when they are done. SOOO GOOD!! I made them over the weekend. They are so much better the day you make them.. but trust me.. they are awesome any old time! And.. they are SOOOO EASY! Have a very happy Christmas Eve Eve!! til next time- KARLA =)

Confessions

I ate like crap the other day. In fact... crap may be an understatement. But, it's okay. I think I was allowed after all the semi-horrible news that I was hit with.

Here is what I ate:

-3 boneless buffalo wings w/ about a tablespoon of blue cheese

-spinach salad with cheese (too much), cucumbers, and ranch dressing (too much)

-diet coke

-chocolate devotion at Cold Stone Creamery (a "like it" size.. but still..it's chocolate ice cream, brownie, chocolate chips, and hershey's syrup)

And that is what I ate.

No breakfast. No dinner. Just lunch, and dessert. HORRIBLE.

I weighed myself this morning... I still weigh the same. All the dancing helps to maintain my weight. Thankfully.

I will be baking cookies like a mad woman today, along with going to buy the car that my Dad and I looked at today.

Pictures soon.

It's a 2006 fire engine red Cheverolet Cobalt. Pre-owned.. but not a scratch on it. Drives so nice. Smaller engine than my Grand Am... but whatever. I just won't be doing 90 on the roads any longer. Which, is a good thing. =)

It's smaller too. But, that's okay.

I like it. That is what matters.

OHHH and ..... I was totally sold when the guy turned on the radio. THE SPEAKER SYSTEM IS AMAZING!!! ANNND... I can control the music with the buttons on the steering wheel!!

He knew that I've been a dancer for years because this guy sells cars to our family all the time. What a salesman... he knows how to sell cars to dancers who love music. =) =)

Alright folks... hope your all having a great day.

Cookie recipe tomorrow!

til then--

Karla =)

I don't think I'll ever learn to LIKE Mondays.

You know... I was planning on having a really nice day today. My best friend is coming in to town. She'll be here any minute now. I am supposed to be happy.

Today, I was supposed to sleep in for the first Monday in a loooong time. I was supposed to take it slow this morning, ease into the day. Enjoy the morning.

Well... all that was shattered with the simple words,

"Your car has been totaled"

Merry Christmas!

It doesn't help that I had to drive to the place where my car is at, and take out all of my things. I never thought saying goodbye to a car would be that hard... but it was surprisingly. My grandparents bought me that car after I graduated high school with high honors. It was a 2004 Pontiac Grand Am.. silver. I loved that car. It got me from Point A to Point B. But, it was much more than that... it was the place I would go to to be by myself... to vent... to blast music... to relieve stress. And now it's gone.

The insurance company gave me $6,654 for it. It's a 2004 and has 70,000 miles on it. I bought it with 31,000 miles on it for $13,500.

That is beyond frustrating.

I really was not expecting it to be totaled. I'm in complete shock.

My parents are pissed, which doesn't help me in the slightest...it just makes things worse.

Guess I'll be shopping for a car this weekend with money I don't have... HORRAY?..

til next time..

Karla.. =) (I'm trying to smile & think that there ARE people out there who are def. worse off..)

A Very Special Christmas Eve

Just a few more days until Christmas! December is flying by.

This morning, I was supposed to go to church... but, the service was cancelled due to a huge snow storm that hit the east coast. Today was supposed to be a very special church service. It's the last Sunday before Christmas and the children usually put on a Christmas Pageant. The children reenact the birth of Jesus with Mary, Joseph, the angels, shepherds, three kings, animals... and baby Jesus of course.

It is such a cute little skit that the children put on. I have always enjoyed watching it...and I loved being in it when I was little. It used to be on Christmas Eve... but is now on the Sunday before Christmas so that youngsters who spend the holidays elsewhere can have a chance to be in it.

************************************************************************************

So here is what I love about Christmas Eve...it may not seem perfect or anything special... but it is all I have ever known.

~ Mom and Dad usually work on Christmas Eve day. My Mom is a librarian at our local library so she usually gets half the day off. Dad usually has to work the entire day. I usually spend my morning baking last minute Christmas cookies for the next day... and try to help my Mom clean the house while she is at work.

When she comes home... sometimes we head to the stores for last minute shopping. Sometimes I buy things... but sometimes I just go with her for the ride. Boy does it get crazy out there on Christmas Eve. Things are all picked over at the stores, people are driving like idiots on the roads. I pity those who have to work in ANY store on Christmas Eve. The shoppers are nuts! But, it is a sight to see. I have enjoyed it every Christmas Eve.

We finally make it home...usually with about an hour to spare before it's time for the evening church service. Everybody is rushing to get dressed. Mom spends forever in the bathroom in front of the mirror... she sings (sometimes) for our church choir. Meanwhile, Dad needs some extra convincing to get his butt ready to get out the door and go to church. He has never been the church type.

I remember fussing with my outfit as a little girl. Every year at the Christmas Pageant, I was an angel. The head angel. The angel, Gabriel. Yes.. the one who only had a few lines (thankfully). I have never been much of an actress. I let my dancing do all the talking!! All I had to say was,

"Do not fear, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold! You shall conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus."

I had to wear a white leotard with a white tutu. I also wore white tights with little sparkly stars all over them. Man, were they itchy. But Mom insisted that I wear them. They looked a little something like this..

I remember being in the bathroom for hours. Mom always curled my hair and loaded a bunch of makeup on me. But the most important part of my whole outfit was the corny headband with the furry white halo attached to it. Man... I hated that thing!

I was never one for getting all "girled up". I hated dresses, and I hated makeup. So why did I dance? Why did I do all this do you ask?? Was it because my Mom made me do it? Nooo.

It was because as soon as my ballet slipper hit the floor... I felt like I was on top of the world. I came alive with the music. I would hear the "ooo's" and "ahh's" from the audience and that would be the fuel for my dancing. Everyone was always in awe of my dancing. It was my comfort zone... the one place where I knew I was accepted. The one thing I knew I was good at. So even though I was all dressed up in the worst outfit known to man... I was happy. I was doing what I loved to do. That is what made my Christmas Eve's so special.

Now? Well... I am too old to be in the Children's Pageant now. I have handed the corny halo headband to another girl, who has handed it to another girl.. and so on. The angel Gabriel now is a little girl who I do not know. But, what I do know... is that she reminds me of me. A young dancer with big dreams. A young girl whose heart and soul goes into her dancing. A young girl whose Christmas Eve is special because she gets to dance in front of the eyes of many, and awe them with her graceful moves.

Now, my Christmas Eve is special because I get to see her doing what I used to do. And now, I get to see her face light up when I tell her that she did an amazing job. =)

That is what makes my Christmas Eve special.. how about you?

til next time-

Karla =)

Today's letter is, "D"

Well folks... this Dieting Dancer is now a Dating & Dieting Dancer.

Whoa.. way too many D's.

Anyway. I am .. in the dating scene? So weird. Several years ago, if you had told me this is where I would have ended up...I would not have believed you. But, a lot has changed in my life. Things change, people change... I sure as hell have changed. So I have been going on a few dates here and there. Dates that even my closest friends don't know about. I choose to keep that side of my life kind of private. I feel like once a person starts to show interest in another person...friends and family start thinking that they will be married and have babies together. When really, I just enjoy going out with guys because I like to hang out/meet new people.. with that one hope that maybe there is a potential for more.

This Dating and Dieting Dancer is also a Desperate Dating and Dieting Dancer.

NO.. not desperate for a relationship. Desperate for a dance floor. I have recently choreographed a dance to the song "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. Well..scratch that... some of it is choreographed while other parts are basically improv.

I want to perform it.

But... I don't have nearly enough space here at home. So today I wrote a letter to Santa asking him for a stage.. or something bigger than my living room or garage that I could dance on. Perhaps something like the Radio City stage could fit in his bag.

Yes.. that was a joke. Insert laughing here.

But really... I need space. And a videographer. Someone whom I could trust to not make fun of me while taping me. Haha. Seriously.

I need to find someone who is up to that challenge.. hmm..

Then.. I need to break in to my "dance studio" so that I can record it there. My dance studio is really just the basement floor of my town's Town Hall. It's just a huge wooden gymnasium. Boring... but it works.

So maybe soon... I will find a video person.. find the time..and then break into the gym.. and tape this... and put it up on here for all to see. It will be my first video that I actually tried really hard at. Hopefully it will showcase what I can do as a dancer. Which is nothing really compared to thousands of other dancers on YouTube who have choreographed their work to the same Hide and Seek song.

But that's okay. I like where I am at right now with my dancing. I feel as though I have progressed a lot within the past year.. thanks to the weightloss and all.

Well... it is Dinnertime for this Desperate, Dating, Dieting, Dancer.

More tomorrow.

til then-

Karla =)

(5 days til Xmas)

Life lessons

Dance was great last night. Saw some people who came back from college, which was so nice. We got to show them our dances. A few of the girls were recording the dances… so they are now apt to be put up on facebook. Hopefully I didn’t screw up!

Dance was also bittersweet last night. It was the last class for another couple of weeks. That is because next Thursday is Christmas Eve and the Thursday after that is New Years Eve. So I won’t be at dance class until next year!! =(

Every year, each “Starduster” (that is what we are called) is given a Christmas present that Mrs. Lathrop picks out. Each year, we open our present (usually a gorgeous piece of jewelry) and we get in line to hug/kiss/thank Mrs. Lathrop. This year was different.

After class, the head teacher announces that this was the last gift from Mrs. Lathrop. She had actually picked out this gift on the very day that she passed away. This just goes to show her integrity and willingness to always do for others before herself. Even on her deathbed, she was doing for others. What an incredible woman.

So she picked out a beautiful silver necklace. It looks like this..

I teared up a little bit. It’s bittersweet you know. But, she had so any Christmas’s (about 25 of them) without her husband, Mack. So now, she is enjoying her Christmas with him… and I can rest assured that she is happier. Without a doubt.

So, that is something to smile about =)

Here is something else to smile about....

Today, as I checked my email this morning... I saw an email from my Aunt. She always sends me those cheesy forwards that either make you smile or make you wonder why you bothered to waste 5 minutes of your life looking at it.

But today, I thought this one email was very inspiring. It was a power point of different pictures with 45 "life messages" on each picture. Here are the messages... I have bolded the TOP 10 that I live by.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

**This is something that I have tried very hard to live by. I get into small arguments all the time with people. But sometimes... you are better off choosing your battles. Why fight over something so stupid if you can simply agree to disagree?

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

* I have done this. I have had tragedy and failures in my life that very little people even know about. I have not chosen to make any of these things public yet, and not sure if I ever will... because I have come to terms with my past and have accepted it. It has made me stronger and I have moved on. My past does not and will not ever screw up my present OR future!

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

* This is one of the biggest lessons I have learned throughout my life...especially within the past year. I would ALWAYS compare myself to others. That was ALL I ever did. No lie. But now, all of that is not necessary. I am happy with who I am. =)

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

* I have lived by this all my life. You have to believe in this... because it is true! Everyone who has been through rough times and makes it out alive... is stronger! No doubt about it! =)

19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

* Very important. I am still learning this lesson. I am told constantly that I will never ever make it to the Rockette's. A ton of people do not believe in me. But, has that made me give up or lose hope yet? No... not yet =)

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

* This is mainly just because I HATE waiting!! When I have a gift certificate to a nice restaurant, or a new shirt to wear... I don't wait for that "special" time to wear it or use it.... I USE/WEAR IT RIGHT THEN!!! Who knows if there would be a "tomorrow"... enjoy life now!

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

* Well... everyone who really knows me knows that I am eccentric...maybe even a little TOO eccentric. I own several shirts/dresses covered in sequins. AND... purple is my favorite color.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

* I am trying to learn this also. Sometimes, I feel like some days are the worst day ever. But really... I need to tell myself... is this really THAT horrible? Is this really going to matter years down the road? I think this is SO important.

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone, everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved..

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

* Everyone who knows me knows that I am always dressing up and trying to be in the spotlight, even if it means making a fool out of myself. Haha... I have always loved being all dressed up, being on stage, being the center of attention, and entertaining. That is what I do. Sometimes it annoys people... but that is just me. It's all I know. =)

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

* I mean... who could argue with that? Life is absolutely a gift. Every day is a gift.

**** So now I have a challenge for anyone who is willing to join.

I challenge you to pick AT LEAST 3 of your favorite messages/things you live by... and explain a little on each one, as I did. I'd love to hear what YOU all have to say!

Happy Friday!!

(weather man says 6-8 inches of snow tomorrow night!!)

One week til xmas!!

til next time-

Karlaaaa =)

OKAY i have some beef..

... with this ONE little tiny infomercial that I just saw.

This infomercial was selling the.... Perfect Fit Button.

What is a Perfect Fit Button you ask?

Check this out.

No really, check it out. It will make you laugh.

OR.. it might make you angry like it made me angry.

Huge long rant begins here:

You know... I honestly feel that this Perfect Fit Button is the epiphany of America. Always looking for the easy way out of things. This button is basically saying..."Are you fat?? Do you not fit into your jeans?? Well... that's alright, because now... there is the Perfect Fit Button that you can attach to your pants just in case the button that is already on your pants doesn't button.

Seriously world? Do we really need a Perfect Fit Button?

Why do we always take the easy way out?

When our pants are too tight, why can't we change how we eat, change how we workout. You know... for months and months and months, I would make excuses for myself...excuses for my weight... excuses for ...well... everything!!

I FINALLY came to my senses and did something about it. I worked HARD to change and to lose the weight... I worked hard to get into shape... change my lifestyle. I worked hard on my dancing... I worked hard at everything that I hated about myself.

Life is not EASY. There IS NO easy button!! AND... there shouldn't be a Perfect Fit Button either!!!

You will be a lot more proud of yourself if you actually put in the work to change, and not spend $10 plus shipping and handling on a Perfect Fit Button.

Plus.. that $10 that some idiot may spend on this "Perfect Fit Button" may have just as well gone to a good cause. A better cause. A cause that my friend blogged about this morning. That post is here. A must read.

til next time,

Karla =)

FINALLY!

Well... I had a bit of a mini-breakdown yesterday.

Long story short... there is a virus going around on facebook...and my computer decided to NOT work for some of the day and I almost did not finish my last paper that I had to hand in today. I was freaking out. Thankfully, I got it done and I think my computer is fine.

For those of you with facebooks... DO NOT click on any "video" message you may receive through facebook chat. I can't even tell you how many times I was sent the message... "Hey, I found an old video of you, it's hilarious... do you remember any of it?"

Of course, I click on it.... UGHH.

My computer was spontaneously sending video messages to people... and I had to delete a crap ton of people off my "friends list". I got a text message from one of my best friends from Maine this morning saying... "Karla....WTF?"

Today is her birthday too. So, now I need to go back and "friend" all of the friends that I deleted slash spontaneously got deleted. That is of course if my facebook has decided its fixed now. It seemed fine this morning.

Ugh.

Anyway...

Guess what??

I AM DONE WITH FINALS!! FINALLY!!

My semester is completely over!! That is good news for all of you who read this pathetic blog.... I hope to make it better now that I have a lot more free time. =)

My dad is picking me up in an hour since I have no car.

Speaking of my car... I had to give a recorded statement as to what happened with the accident... annnnd my insurance company sent out an appraiser to see if it's really totaled or if it's worth fixing. It doesn't look too good.. but who knows. I have yet to hear anything.

I can't wait to be back home.. because home=dance and dance=life. =)

Speaking of dance, I have dance tonight. SO excited because tonight, a lot of the seniors who graduated from the dance school and went away to college are coming back! They will get to see what we have done so far with our routines. I can't wait to see them. =)

Well, I have to go pack now and bring a ton of stuff home for my month long hiatus. WOOHOO!

Christmas is so close!

til next time-

Karlaaaaa =)

Oy vey

Today was... interesting.

I did a lot of thinking today. A lot of reflecting.

I typed out some things for my "letter to me" that I do every year. I plan on posting it on here once it is finished.

I feel that it is so important to reflect on things in life. For months and months and months, I have worked so hard to change. To better myself. To change all the things I hated about me.

In order to do all that... I would constantly reflect, and analyze things. Am I doing things right? Is this where I am supposed to be in life? Am I making the right decisions? Am I friends with the right people? Am I happy with myself? What can I change to make me more happy with me? How can I better myself?

Really, without reflection... how can you change? How can you progress? How can you better yourself?

You must reflect. Think back on your past... think about things you want to change about yourself... plan out how you will change it... and then... well... change it!

Often I am told... I think too much... I reflect too much. Well... that is what this blog is for. That is why I created this blog. It keeps me in check. Keeps me honest with myself. Keeps me sane. It's a kind of therapy.

Yes. I DO think a lot. I DO reflect a lot. In order to keep myself sane, I type out all of my thoughts and reflections into this blog.... with hopes that someone can relate... that someone can read my thoughts and decide to change themselves just as I did... that someone can get inspired, get motivated...... change.

Sometimes I feel like I have this problem where I talk and talk and talk with no filter.

I guess it affects the people that I am friends with... the people that I talk to. I guess I can be fairly annoying with my constant over-analyzing and over-thinking.

But, that's me for ya...and I won't apologize for it.

The enddd.

Until next timmmme...

Karla =)

My Christmas List

So every year I am bombarded with friends and family members asking me what I want for Christmas. I always just brush them off until their questioning gets too annoying to avoid.

So I end up creating a "Christmas List" every year.

I have noticed throughout the years that my list gets shorter and shorter...materialistically speaking.

But... here is what I have asked for this year.

A new dance game for Wii... what a workout! AND SO MUCH FUN!

Yes, I would really love to have a blender because I am in love with smoothies, milkshakes, protein shakes... you name it.
And last but not least, a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. I am in desperate need of new bras. This whole weight loss thing has brought me from a 40DD to a 34C. Whoa! Definitely in need of new bras. Big time. Way overdue.

But you know... none of this stuff matters compared to the bigger, more important things in life.

#1: God. My wish is that he looks down upon everyone this holiday season and keeps even those in unfortunate circumstances in good spirits.

-He really does answer prayers. He was there when I had my accident. Protected me and my passenger. I walked out of that accident with not even a scratch. That was amazing... a miracle... a blessing. I am beyond thankful.

#2: My family. My wish is that my mom's health problems become minimal and non life threatening. She has high blood pressure and high cholesterol...and she is the healthiest person I know. She dances, eats right, and stays in shape. It's a family thing though, I too will probably have it. But... GOOD NEWS... it has gone down. Just heard today from the doctor that she is doing better. Amen to that.

My wish is that we are all well, and alive and together for this holiday. That is always the greatest Christmas present.

You know... when you are young... you don't care about anything but toys on Christmas. At least, that was how I looked at it. Santa was the man around this time. I could not wait for him to break into my house to leave me gifts that I may or may not have even deserved.

Now, I know that Christmas is way more than just materialistic things. Yes, it is the season of giving... and I believe we all need to be Santa's on this magical day. We all need to give in one way or another. Whether it's gifts, or just a simple smile... a hug... a friendly hello...

I now know that the most important gift at Christmas is not going to be my pink blender, or the dance game, or the Victoria's Secret card...

...it will be the gift of family, love, the gift of living another day on earth... and the gifts that I was given that make me who I am. My motivation, my ambition, determination.

Because those gifts have got me to where I am now at 157lbs...they have got me to actually try to pursue my dream of being a Rockette... to pursue things that I never dreamed could be reality. The support from family... my determination to succeed... my ambition... my motivation.

I have a Christmas list this year. You saw it. But really, I already received my gift. I'm all set.

til next time,

Karla =)

Magnificent Monday

Today was a good day.

+ No car accident

+ Last day of teaching =)

+ Bonding with friends

+ I danced today ... yay

+ Got a lot of work done

+ I only have one more essay to write... no tests

+ Ate pretty decently

Today is my Mom's birthday. I got her a fleece and a real nice red sweater. I also made her a cake and we were supposed to celebrate yesterday while I was in my accident. We celebrated last night, after getting back from the accident. I called her today and wished her a happy birthday. She is 51 today. We are 30 years apart, so it is easy to remember how old she is.

I have nothing interesting to say. Pretty boring day... but a good day because I am alive, and healthy. I am car-less... but I am alive, and that is what matters.

I drove to my school with my mom's car to teach today and had a ton of flashbacks on my way to the school. Flashbacks of the car accident.... it was my very first one. Uhhhh.

Anyway... nothing exciting to say today.

This blog is so boring.

Til next time,

Karla =)

Lucky to be alive

Just finally got back home from a horrible car accident that I was involved in this afternoon. The roads were solid ice today.

I was driving home from a restaurant and spun out of control. Did a 360 and hit the side of a bridge. I thought that was the end of me. Figured I would have fallen right off the bridge... but I didn't. I waited in the car to assess the situation and re-group. I was hit by an on coming car and smashed into the bridge a second time. Wacked my head real hard and thought it was going to explode. My air bags never came out or anything. What a hit I took. Not once, but twice.

So I get out of the car and called my parents. The police were called. I couldn't even walk on the road... a sheet of ice is what it was really.

The woman who slammed into me left the scene without even a warning. It was "all my fault". Then, as the cop was filling out information, my car was hit again by a second car. Luckily, I wasn't in it. I was standing out in the freezing rain.

Then, yes... it was hit again by a third car.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was totaled. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

I'm done with this week. I haven't even cried today. I've cried out every tear I have left with my brother and my teacher disrespecting me... and being accidentally punched in the face... now this. Three cars hit mine. My head is still spinning from the whole thing.

My hair was frozen solid too. I stood out in the freezing rain for an hour and a half. The cop couldn't be bothered with inviting me into his car to keep warm. Luckily the tow truck guy was nice. I'm surprised I didn't die of hypothermia.

So, besides a sore head and a totaled car, and my schedule for the week being totally screwed up....

I'm doing just fine.

This sucks.

Til next time

-Karla =( I think that was my first sad face ever. UGH. I just can't smile right now.