Smile...

A song that Mrs. Lathrop loved. I dedicate this dance to her... =)

Til next time,

Karla =)

Ew, Monday

So I really have nothing to say today. It's a rainy, cold, miserable.. disgusting Monday. I have so much work to do it's not even funny. I need to light a fire under my you know what.

Here is a video of me dancing. This was on Wednesday I believe. It was just a fun thing that I made up as I went along. Not choreographed so don't judge it too harshly!

I lot of twirling, I know. But, it's my favorite thing to do. =)

Til next time..

Karlaaaaa =)

I'm all smiles =)

Today was an excellent day for so many reasons.

I got to see my Uncle whom I have only seen once in 4 years. It was nice to see him again. He is my Dad's brother. My Dad did have 2 brothers and one sister. But, when my Dad was young, his youngest brother died at 17 years old. I've heard that my family hasn't been right since. But, I never met that Uncle... nor knew my family before he passed.

Anyway... my Uncle has a permanent back injury that makes it hard for him to walk...or even stand for that matter. His strength to get up and face the day everyday amazes me. I can tell he is in quite a lot of pain. Unfortunately, during back surgery... the surgeon made a mistake and my Uncle's back will never be the same. My Uncle sued and got some money for it... but that doesn't make up for never being able to be himself ever again.

He was once addicted to pain killers and a few other things. He is now clean. I am very proud of him. He quit cold turkey.

I got to see his son (my cousin) too. We were close at one point but have gone our separate ways since high school and do not keep in touch much. So, it was nice to visit with him.

Then I spent the day with one of my roommates. We took pictures all afternoon... because we are dorks. =)

I didn't get many good shots at all... but she did. She is so good at what she does. She can work wonders with a camera. Sometimes I will get a decent shot here and there...but I must say... my talents are on stage =)

After our photo session... we went out to Eli's .. a bar in her town. It was fun. I am not the bar type. But, it was pretty nice to get out and meet new people. A man came up to us and offered to buy us drinks. That was the first time that has ever happened to me. It was awkward... but I must say... I was a little flattered! We kindly declined. But it definitely boosted my self esteem.

OH.. and .. I weighed myself today. I weigh the same. WOOHOO!! I didn't over do it. I didn't gain. =D

AND... I like someone. Who knows what will come of it. I doubt anything will. And that really doesn't matter either. It's just nice to talk to this person and hang out. Haha, I kind of feel like a 16 year old saying that. Oh well.

Til next time,

Karlaaaa =)

Back From Maine

Time goes by too quickly. I hate it! I get to see my Grandparents maybe about 3 or 4 times a year if I am lucky. Thanksgiving, Martin Luther King weekend, Memorial Day weekend, and a week during the summer. That is all.

I hate being so far away from them. It really stinks.

It was a great few days though. Today, I put up their Christmas tree for them as I do every year. I blasted the Xmas music and danced and sang to it. It drove my brother nuts... but I didn't mind. He loves his big sister so much.... =)

Before we left to go back home, my Grandma pulled me aside. We went into her bedroom and sat on her bed. She said, "Karla... I just want you to know that I am proud of you. I think you are doing good things in your life. You have faced challenges recently that are not easy... and you have faced them head on with your head held high. You don't seem depressed or defeated" (she was speaking of my break-up with my BF of 6 years) She continued to say, "Do not let anyone ever stop you from doing what you want to do. I think you are making all the right decisions."

She told me she too once dated a man for 5 years. She said she had to make a difficult decision to break it off. She told me she felt like she was suffocating being with him and when they were over, she could breathe again... she was free. Even though my BF was never, ever controlling... I too feel that way. I feel free again. I am happy. I am glad that she is happy with my decision too. She found love again... she married my Grandfather and has been with him for 54 years.

She said, "Karla... you will find love again. But for now, learn to love yourself. You'll be glad that you did."

She told me how good I looked and that I look better and better each time she sees me. She told me never to let anyone tell me I can't do anything. She has been hoping that one day I would try out for the Rockette's. I have been dancing and kicking before I could walk and it would be her dream come true to see me on the big stage at Radio City. She would be so proud, so happy.

I told her how a lot of people laugh in my face when I tell them my crazy dream of being a Rockette. She said something then that made me think. "Thank God for crazy dreams... life would be pointless...boring... without them."

"Oh... and when you make the Rockette's... you can laugh in THEIR faces!"

Oh how I love my Grandma. =)

Here are pics of my brother and I. One of these 2 will be in the Christmas card. Not sure which. Any opinions??

We have Christmas early every year so that Grandma and Grandpa can see us open their gifts since we do not see them on Christmas. This year, they got me something I can hang up in my room. It says: "There is always a reason to dance" They know me too well!! =) My beautiful Grandmother is in the back in the white sweatshirt. =)

Here is a picture that I took over the summer of my Grandma when she wasn't looking. She hates getting her picture taken. So... I caught her when she didn't realize it. I thought this picture was so nice that I even entered it into a photography contest at a local fair. Didn't win or anything, but a whole lot of people got to see my beautiful Grandmother =)

Til next time,

Karla =)

Black Friday

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I enjoyed little bits of turkey, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and cheesecake!! YUM! Took a few pictures that I'll put up later.

Today was a great day. Here are the plus's and minus's.

+ Stayed up late the night before watching Elf (a.k.a. MY FAVORITE MOVIE)

- Stayed up TOO late..

- Had to get up at 8am.

+ Went to breakfast at Moody's Diner (Waldoboro, M.E.) Best diner EVER!

- It POURED all morning.

+ Took pictures of raindrops on leaves, trees..etc..

- It POURED all afternoon.

+ Went shopping in Freeport, M.E. (where the famous L.L.Bean outlet is)

+ Got a $10 fleece at Gap... so soft!

+ Got a $7 shirt at Gap... I love it!

+ Got sparkly zebra print flats at Target for $10!! WOOHOO!

+ Got hand cream from Bath & Body that smells SO good. I am a sucker for hand cream!

+ Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate...enough said.

+ Ruby Tuesday's salad bar for lunch with my cousin!

+ Caught up with my cousin over lunch. I don't see her often, I was happy to catch up.

+ Our waiter totally hit on us...and I wasn't complaining!! ;-)

- It POURED all night!!

+ Had good conversation at dinner with Grandma and Grandpa.

+ Played Apples to Apples with Grandma, Grandpa, my brother, and my cousin. (Playing Apples to Apples with 2 old folks= hilarious!)

+ Figured out just what to get my Secret Santa. (the roommates and I do a secret santa every year)

Alright... well... thats all I've got for now.

Hope you all had an awesome Thanksgiving and didn't go too overboard!!

Anyone find any good Black Friday deals??

Til next time,

Karla =)

A time for giving thanks...

Well... it is now 5am. I have been up for about an hour getting ready to head off to Maine for Thanksgiving. I will be leaving any minute now... but I decided to write today about things that I am thankful for. So here goes...

What I am thankful for:

-God

-Family

-Dance

-Mrs. Lathrop

-True Friends

-My blog friends =)

-Weight Watchers

-My weight loss

-Being able to fit into clothes from 8^th grade

-My loose jeans (size 8!)

-Having the gift of hearing music even when it’s silent

-My patience

I am also thankful that:

-I have met (at such a young age) the one person whom I can count on, who supports me, loves me, and makes me the happiest person in the world when I am feeling down.

-I joined Lathrop School of Dance 16 years ago… and it has forever changed my life.

-I was able to be so close with Mrs. Lathrop, my former dance teacher.

-I have had the opportunity to work with the Radio City Rockette’s.

I have a handful of people in my life who truly support me with everything that I do and everything that I am.

-I can enjoy the simple things in life.

-I have a sense of humor and can laugh at myself.

-I can see the good in all things… even in the worst of times.

-I have dealt with the unfortunate events in my life with my head held high.

-I have never truly felt defeated.

-I finally feel confident and comfortable with myself.

-I know that I will never go back to that horrible place I was at last year.

- I will never be 185lbs ever again.

-I created this blog 10 months ago… it has helped me in so many ways, even ways that I never expected or thought possible.

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Til next time,

Karla =)

Thanksgiving Eve

First and foremost... Thank you. This blog has opened up a whole new support team for me and I love you all. Your comments meant the world to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart... I really needed to hear all the lovely things that were said. Thank you so much.

So...I have a thing about holidays. You know… holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day (if you call that a holiday), St. Patrick’s Day, Easter…

A lot of people just use those few days out of the year to “go crazy” and eat and drink all that their heart desires. Those few days are their excuse for going overboard. Trust me, I have been there before.

I always hated sitting around the huge table on Thanksgiving and watching my relatives just barely get through saying grace before they could inhale all the food on their plate plus second and third helpings. I would sit and pick at my food (I have always been something of a picky eater). I would watch everyone around me shovel food into their mouth as if someone were going to take their plates from right under them. It was like watching a herd of cows who hadn’t eaten in days.

I would sit there and play with my food, until I would be yelled at to eat it…and to eat it all. So, I would.

I always had to finish the food that was on my plate. And as I grew up, that is exactly what I would do. It was considered rude not to.

So, even when I was full… I would still eat every last crumb that was on the plate until it was gone.

After dinner, everyone would either go home or move into another room to lie down, unbutton their jeans for some breathing room and watch the Macy’s Parade re-run on TV.

This used to be me.

Not anymore.

There is no excuse for going crazy on these kinds of holidays. Thanksgiving, like Christmas and all the other holidays are just like any other day of the 365 we have in a year. I will only take what I know I can eat. When I am full, the fork will be put down. I will not let ONE DAY ruin the 10 MONTHS of hard work. No way, no how. And you shouldn’t either.

Thanksgiving should not be looked at as a time for eating until your stomach is ready to pop... but rather, a time to spend with family, a time for communication, and catching up with relatives, a time for quality conversation, and family bonding.

So here is to a happy and healthy Thanksgiving Day with those you love. May you have good conversation and enough food to keep you satisfied and not stuffed!!

Much love-

Til next time,

Karla =)

You know what gets to me?

People who are jealous.

Today, started off good. I was happy to be done with school and to start my Thanksgiving break. I was happy to be going home, and once I got home.. the sh*t hit the fan.

I was disrespected today. By someone very close to me. I was hurt today. By someone very close to me.

I am not one to let things bother me. I let things go in one ear and out the other.. roll off my shoulder. I forgive and forget.

But this time... I just don't know if I can.

Today... when I got home... I danced... for about 2 hours. Then, I was feeling so good about myself that I decided to talk with someone whom I love dearly and think so highly of. I told this person exactly how I have been feeling lately. I told them that I have so much more confidence, I am such a different person now that I have lost weight. I have self esteem more than I ever have in the past. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I can record myself dancing and not cringe when I play it back. I have evolved as a dancer because of this weight loss and newly found confidence. I spilled out all my positive energy onto this person thinking that they would be happy for me. For far too long, I was depressed, and had lost all self esteem. I thought it was about time for this person to know just how much I have changed and how better I feel now. Just talking about it with them brought me to tears, because I would have never thought the words "I am happy" would be coming out of my mouth. Because, I have been truly happy ever since I lost the bulk of this weight.

I don't know. Maybe I went too far. Maybe I sounded conceited.

But whatever it was... Someone that I trust, someone that I love, told me that I am too self-absorbed. Told me, I have turned into a selfish person ever since I lost weight. This person told me that I am letting the weight loss get to my head... that I think way to highly of myself. That I am becoming "too pretty". This person told me that they thought it was so weird that I record myself dancing. "What, so you can look at how gorgeous you are everyday? Are you really that self absorbed?" They told me that weight watchers is ridiculous and that I might as well throw up while I'm at it. They told me I have changed for the worst... that I have become obsessed with weight and with my body. "Just because you lost a little bit of weight doesn't mean you need to buy new clothes all the time and plaster pictures of yourself all over the internet... but you know... that's what people who lose weight do. They get obsessed with themselves, and they love looking at themselves. It's really sad that you have become one of them."

I've been told this kind of thing before. But not to this extent. I was caught off guard. I was not expecting this. I just sat there, listening to the stupidity in silence. I didn't respond. I just sat there. I didn't know what to say. I don't know what to think. I don't know if I can forgive and forget this time.

Am I really that self absorbed and conceited?

Is it a sin to be happy?

I am finally happy with myself and as soon as I am... why does someone always feel the need to bring me down?

Just because I am not depressed and upset with myself, does that mean that person needed to bring me down with them?

I HATED my body. I HATED myself.

I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

And now... I LOVE WHO I AM.

Do I need to apologize for that?

I don't think so. And I'm not going to.

Words can be so powerful, so hurtful. If only this person knew how much they hurt me.

May tomorrow be a better day.

Til then,

Karla =/

Happy Birthday Mrs. Lathrop

I know, I know… I am blogging for the second time today. But, I am doing this more for me.

Today is Mrs. Lathrop’s birthday… she would have been 95 years old.

So, Happy Birthday Mrs. Lathrop!! I know you are up in heaven popping champagne… your favorite drink!

Tonight, I toast to you doll. Love you! =)

You know… I believe that people come in and out of your life for a reason.

A few months ago, when I was going through a rough time with one of my best friends, one of my friends in the blog world introduced me to “reason, season, lifetime”. A poem that I swear by. I thank this blogger from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to this poem. I read it in tough times… especially when Mrs. Lathrop passed. I would read it to make myself feel a bit better.

People come into your life for

a Reason

a Season

or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is,

you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then,

without any wrongdoing on your part

or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something

to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met,

our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered

and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

things you must build upon in order

to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

love the person

and put what you have learned to use

in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,

whether you were a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

I’m sure you all have had friends. The ones that stick around for a little while... and then something happens and your friendship slowly dissolves. I dealt with that this past summer with one of my best friends. It was tough, but my strong belief in this poem’s message got me through it. She had served her purpose, and the friendship was meant to end. I know that now.

This same message holds true for every person who I have crossed paths with in my life.

That is one thing that I really like about myself. I see good in the bad. I see the best things in the worst things.

For example… I have been hurt in the past by ex boyfriends… mentally, physically, and emotionally. Lots of women have. It’s a horrible truth. But, for me… it has made me stronger. I don’t regret any one that has crossed my path, including those who have hurt me the most. I really have forgiven everyone who has ever hurt me. Because, I see good in it and I don’t let it get to me. Sure, it impacts my life… but in a more positive way. I see it as; even though they hurt me… it was their job to make me a stronger and better person. For that, I am thankful.

As far as Mrs. Lathrop goes… she came into my life for a reason. She was there to teach me how to dance… to teach me obedience, discipline, love. She taught me that practice makes perfect, that there is never an excuse not to practice if dancing is your passion. She taught me that dance is not just about entertaining, it is about releasing your emotions through movement. She taught me the importance of smiling. She taught me to smile even through the rough times… to “smile, though your heart is breaking”.

I am smiling today. Just for you. I love you forever. =)

Til next time,

Karla =)

How has weight loss changed me?

Sheila over at One Pretty Little Box is asking her readers a very thought provoking question that will now turn into the topic of my post today.

How has weight loss changed me?

Wow. That is a very good question and I believe I have talked about it many times on here before. But, I will organize it and make it real clear for you right now.

Besides the fact that weight loss has DRASTICALLY changed how I eat...It has changed my outlook on life... my dreams... and my personality.

Outlook on life before weight loss: Life is shit. I try on 15-25 outfits a day. I am a size 14-16. Nothing fits. Nothing hangs right. I look horrible everyday. Everyday is a "fat" day. I was feeling sorry for myself. I was wallowing in self pity and ice cream. I never want this to be me ever again.

Outlook on life after weight loss: So this is what life really feels like. I put on ONE outfit and wear it the whole day. I am a size 6-8. Things fit and are sometimes too loose. Things DO hang right. I look good everyday. Everyday is not a "fat" day... although some days are. I have my ups and downs. I do NOT feel sorry for myself. I do not wallow in self pity...and I only wallow in ice cream once in a while.. not everyday... and it isn't because I am feeling sorry for myself.. it's because I am allowing myself to indulge once in awhile!

My Dreams before weight loss: Non-existant. Haha.. what dreams? I knew that they were totally unachievable.

My Dreams after weight loss: I want to be a Radio City Rockette, and I know that that is achievable if I work really hard at it and lose these last few pounds. =)

My Personality before weight loss: I never wanted to go anywhere. Never wanted to be in public. I had been thin my whole life and then got to college and blew up. College was supposed to be fun...I was hating it. Spent nights in... alone... a lot. I was very introverted. Kept a lot of stuff to myself. I was never open with who I was because I didn't like who I was. I never met new people because I was not confident. I had a horrible outlook on life and therefore people got bad vibes from me.

My Personality after weight loss: I actually WANT to go out. Weird! I would like to go out and do more things. I feel like I have to make up for lost time. Now that I actually want to go out, I am stuck inside doing nothing a lot of the time because people have come to know me as the one who never wants to do anything. So no one asks... this is frustrating. I am trying to change this. I am meeting new people! WOW! People actually want to be friends with me! Haha.. I am much more confident! I have self esteem! I have an awesome outlook on life and therefore give off good vibes to people...I HOPE!

And after all that... of course there is one thing I am missing... another obvious one...

I am a better dancer because of the weight loss. =)

So there you have it. That is how much I have changed. Crazy!

And here is a dance video. This is just a silly dance I made up. Too much spinning, but I like spinning! It is just a little snipet. I am dancing around at home in my living room with very limited space. I would love to take video of me actually in a room with space! Haha.

ANNND.. my head is chopped off through most of the whole thing.. which is probably better because my hair is stuck to my face anyway!

Until next time,

Karla =)

Radio City Rockette's

I saw the Rockette's last night!!!!! They were AMAZING as always!! Here is the rundown on how the day went.

FIRST- We all got lost on the way to the train station. Probably because I was driving and I have no sense of direction what so ever. Oh well. So.. we finally found the right station and boarded the train.. here is a picture of all three of us (all roommates).

Then... once we got into NYC I got my sense of direction back. THANK GOODNESS. Thankfully, as a child... I went to NYC all the time with my Dad. My Dad is a huge city guy... he loves NYC and my Mom and brother do not. So, he and I would go together. I have some very good memories of us walking around NYC. Thanks to him, I know my way around pretty well and I never had to use a map. I was so proud of myself =)

So first we walked over to 5th Avenue to check out the Christmas decorations. Of course... they put a huge banner around the Rockafeller xmas tree and even put drapes in front of the windows at Saks. I was sad. But, my roommate and I took a picture in front of the drapes anyway!

From there, we went down 5th Avenue to F.A.O. Schwartz. I took a picture with the "guards" who stand in front of the store all day. They were hilarious!

Then from the store, we went to Central Park to take some pictures. We decided to even put my camera on a timer so we could get a shot of all 4 of us. My 2 roommates, me, and my friend Mike.

I even saw a bus with the Rockette's plastered all over it. Wouldn't it be neat if that were me on there one day???? =)

So, I ran into Naked Cowboy again. This guy is NUTS! It was pretty cold out and he is walking around in his underwear. I didn't go over to him because he creeps me out... but he is a huge Times Square icon!

All 4 of us in front of Radio City Music Hall

Dinner was at Mars 2112. It was AWESOME! We went into the restaurant and had to go on a roller coaster simulator to get into the place. We boarded a "space shuttle" and it took us for a 5 minute ride. I was so glad that I had an empty stomach because it was one hell of a trip! The shuttle shakes and goes up and down and sideways and jerks you around... it was nuts.. but so much fun! When we finally got to "Mars", all the waiters were aliens.. haha

So after that adventure.. I wanted so badly to get a picture in front of Radio City. SO of course I posed like a Rockette for the picture.. I am so lame!

This is the star that goes on the top of the Rockafeller Christmas tree. They have it out for display before they put it on the tree in a few days. It was beautiful and so cool to see close up!

At Radio City, when we got in to see the show... they had a "Take a picture with a world famous Radio City Rockette" thing going on. I took a picture of her. It was $20 to get a picture with her and since I already have a photo of me and a Rockette and since I have worked with the Rockette's before.. I figured it wasn't worth the $20! She is so beautiful though!

Isn't the theater absolutely breath taking? Yikes, just looking at this makes my heart go crazy. Right before the show opens, there are 2 organists that play. They play the same thing at the same time....such talent. They were phenomenal.

Reindeer!

12 Days of Christmas! (I knew this choreo because of the Rockette course I took at Radio City in the summer!!)

Toy Soldiers!

Okay, so... I am not going to post all 544 pictures that I took yesterday. But... here is something that you all should watch. 36 Rockette's performing the Toy Soldier fall. It is absolutely amazing. I cannot even imagine the hours of practice they must do for this fall. Such talent!

You know... going to this show again and again each year really reminds me why I have wanted to be a Rockette my whole entire life. It also reminds me how much fun I know I would have doing it. One day...

Radio City better be ready for ME!

Thanks for reading!

Til next time,

Karla =)

Excuses, Excuses

It’s a well known fact isn’t it? We all do it. We all make excuses. All the time.

I am always honest with myself, with others, and with my blog. So, I’ll admit…I do it!

A lot of the blogs I read have talked about excuses in the past. Some of the blogs I read give their two cents on the matter of excuse making. Some of the blogs I read are full of excuses of their own. MINE INCLUDED! But, I have never really talked about excuses on here much…so here is my philosophy.

I believe (like most people) that… excuses are easy. They are right there when you need them. For example… you show up late for work and your boss catches you running into your office. Excuse: Traffic jam…3 car crash… backed up the road for miles. Reality: You were up late last night doing god only knows and you woke up late. Another example… you are starving, it’s the middle of the day… you look in your cabinets and you see the Oreo cookies… you devour 4 of them. Excuse: I needed chocolate, it’s that time of the month…It’s been a long day…I’ll do better tomorrow. Reality: The basket of fruit is right there on the counter.

Those two are PRIME examples of excuses. The second example I gave was ME about one year ago. Except maybe instead of 4 Oreo’s…it was more like 8!

We live in a world FULL of excuses. We live in a world FULL of people who take the easy route…the easy way out. It is so simple to defend yourself with an excuse and move on with life. It’s harder to face the challenge, it’s harder to fight that urge to inhale 8 Oreo’s, it’s harder to get up and face the music everyday. It’s harder to brush the dust off the treadmill in your basement and actually use it, go to that WW meeting and face the scale, stick to your food plan-tracking every little morsel that goes into your mouth, brown bag it instead of heading to McDonalds, and get through the hectic-ness of the day without wanting to collapse on your bed and fall asleep, hoping to never wake up.

I am not going to turn this post into a lecture. I am not going to tell you to stop making excuses. That… is up to you.

But what I will do is tell you what I think will happen to you if you continue to make excuses for the rest of your life.

My theory is… when you are on your death bed and you look back on your life. What do you want to see?

A person who just got by? A person who sailed through life constantly defending their every move? A person who always quit something even before they started because it just “wasn’t for them”? A person who was just “okay” with themselves?

Or..

Would you rather see… a person who strived and worked hard for everything that they have? A person who had passion, determination and confidence? A person who had a sense of pride in everything that they were and everything that they did? A person who never, ever gave up under any circumstances? A person who would fight and fight until the very end? A person with unimaginable strength who could not be defeated?

I think I know what I want to see when I look back. And I know Mrs. Lathrop… my inspiration, my role model… she NEVER made excuses. She always taught her dancers to OWN UP to their mistakes. To own up to not having practiced a step. And I did just that. I owned up to not practicing at times. I dealt with the embarrassment and humility… and it taught me something…

Don’t ever come to dance class without practicing. There is just no excuse for it.

Live your life without excuses. And if you choose not to do that,

What is your excuse?

*NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: NO MORE EXCUSES!*

TIl next time,

Karla =)

High to Low to High and back again

I began this week on top of the world. I felt good about things. I was ready for the week.

Tuesday came around and everything slowly fell apart.

Tuesday was a tough day. Everything went wrong...and at the end of the day.. I was all alone in the apartment... and I lost it. All my strength, all my positive-ness... gone. I just felt empty. Alone. Deserted... for a bunch of reasons.

But mainly, the passing of Mrs. Lathrop. It has really cut a huge, deep hole right through me. I really thought I was doing fine.. but grief is a funny thing. It comes around when you least expect it to. I had just booked tickets for the Rockette show. I should have been happy. But, I was by myself... my mind wandered. I thought about how she used to go to the Rockette show every single year. I thought about how much I miss her.. and I just fell apart.

Whew.

I was supposed to go home Tuesday night. I had a few things to get, and I was thinking about seeing a movie. But, I was all bent out of shape and didn't want to drive. Thankfully, my roommate drove me home to get the things I needed for my lesson that I had to teach the next morning. =) We didn't even talk the whole way. She just turned on the music and we danced and sang in the car the whole way. She knows me all too well, that was just what I needed =)

Here is the bad news about that... I made crescent rolls for the trip... and we both devoured them. ALL OF THEM. Ayeeee....

Then yesterday... I had to teach in the morning. I was also being observed by my advisor. I was SO nervous. But, it went really well and she was impressed...HORRAY! After teaching, I went to class.. and then.. it was game night in the apartment. =)

I had maybe a little too much to drink at first... but things got better as the night progressed. Made new friends, met new people.. laughed until my cheeks throbbed... danced around like an idiot.. (per usual)... and I had a blast =)

Then today.. I hit another low. I don't know why exactly... besides the fact that I ate 2 slices of pizza and tomorrow is my freaking weigh in day. OH... and I was practicing my dance and leaped...landed wrong... and twisted my ankle.

How the heck am I a dancer? Haha.. I am so uncoordinated and clumsy at times.

Anyway.. tonight is the first night of dance practice without Mrs. Lathrop.. but you know what.... her presence is the strongest when I am dancing. I feel her all around me when I dance.

I know when the music is turned on, I will see her there, smiling at me like always =)

ROCKETTE SHOW COUNTDOWN: 2 DAYS!!!!!! AHHHHH!!

Til next time,

Karla =)

OH.. and I don't have to teach tomorrow.. I get to sleep in!!!!! I forgot what that feels like!