I had to take a break from blogging. I needed time to think things over in my head and be okay with everything that was happening and is still happening around me.
What changed?
Well, as you know, I had a car accident and had to get a whole new car. Finally got a new car and even new license plates!! Maybe the new plates will give me better luck with not having any car accidents? I have only been in 2 accidents and both have been totals on my part... and both have been not my fault.
Another thing that changed is the fact that I am moving. Scott and I are moving to a new house. It's a 3 story house that houses 2 families. We will have the bottom floor. Packing has been interesting.. We are having a small tag sale too before we leave. The house is quite large and is being renovated! The only downfall to that is that it will not be ready for us until November. Until then, we will be living in a small studio and trying to save up more and more money for building our life together.
I was also just recently having some health issues with my heart. For the past month, I have been dealing with very high blood pressure and a racing heart beat. Since coming to terms with the move and packing and trying to find a good car, and balancing school work and my job at the daycare--- things were getting very nutty.
I have since relaxed and calmed down. I am trying to cut out as much stress as possible from my life and one way of doing that is by learning how to say NO to people. That's so hard for me because I try to be all things to all people and I just have to learn that it's just not possible. I have done fairly well with this lately and I hope I have not pissed people off in the process, but it's something that HAD to be done!
Another thing that has changed are my perceptions of people and myself. People change. Friends change. And life...well... moves on. I've been hurt by people whom I trusted and thought I knew, when in reality.. I didn't. I just drill into my head that I have those few lifetime friends, and then the ones who stick around for a season or for only a single reason. I have come to terms with this, and have moved on. YAY.
I used to perceive myself as someone who tried so hard to be perfect. Someone who tried so hard to again, be all things to all people. I have come to terms with the fact that, I, like everyone else in this world am not perfect and never will be. I do what I can do, I strive for the best... and that is just the best that I can do.
Oh... and I'm finally smiling again after a whole month of ....well.... not.
I have an amazingly supportive fiance, and an equally amazingly supportive family. I have a great group of new friends and the same few friends I can always count on to support me.
And I finally picked a wedding venue and have an official wedding date!
I'm Smiling.
Are you?
-Karla =)
