New Goal: Positivity

Something strange happened to me last night. Something that rarely happens... I couldn't sleep. Everyone who truly knows me, knows that as soon as my head hits the pillow... I'm out within a matter of minutes.

Last night however, I was in bed by 1:30am... and barely got a wink of sleep.

Why? Well... I honestly don't know. But I do know that, I could not stop thinking about Mrs. Lathrop... my 94 year old dance instructor who passed away a little over 2 months ago.

She was not only my instructor, my teacher, my guide... she was also like my third grandmother... something that not many people are as fortunate to have.

I still miss her every single day. It's hard not to think about her at dance... or anytime that I am dancing. I used to think that I danced for her. I danced so that I could see her smiling face of approval. I loved to dance and watch her wink and smile at me.

And now... I am learning to just dance for myself. It is so hard now that she is not there. Her chair sits there on the floor...empty.. in class. It's hard not to let your eyes well up and just start balling. She should be there. It's not fair.

When she passed away... I posted this quote on my blog. It is a quote about attitude. It is something that Mrs. Lathrop lived by all of her life, and is something that I too am working on. It's one of my favorite quotes so I'll share it with you again.

Attitude:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is...we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the inevitable...The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it."

-Author unknown

That last line really gets to me. It is so true. YOU and only YOU have the power to make the day what it is. Whether it's bad or good.

A small weight gain can mess up your whole entire day... OR... you can look at the scale and say... I am now going to work harder. I know I can do this... this was just a small set back, a small bump in the road on my weight loss journey.

Many, many, many times... I chose to beat myself up over things..like.. a small weight gain.. or not getting a dance move right... or ... troubles with friends. Small bumps in the road used to just throw me all off for the rest of the day.

One of my new goals is to make the best of everything even in the worst of times. I want to be able to memorize that quote and honestly live by it.

That is my goal.

Lots to do today. Haircut at 12. I'm nervous.. but.. I am in good hands I think. I have a very strong connection to my hair. So I hope I don't come out bald. But, I always say that before I get my haircut. I need to be more positive. I need to have a better attitude.

So, I think I'm going to look fabulous after my haircut.

YAY.

That felt good.

til next time,

Karlaaaaaaa =)