I feel like I have this Rubik's cube in my head. Except... instead of colored squares.. the squares have letters.
My brain is constantly flipping the cube around to form the right words to say to someone. Whether it be in a tough situation, a confrontation, or just an average conversation.
Yeah. Kinda like that.I feel defeated. I let something get in the way. I let a person's thoughts of me get in the way.
I am skipping dance tonight because of something someone said. A threat, no less. Someone who is bitter about my break up with my BF back in September whom I dated for 6 years.
Which... is fine. She can be bitter about it. Because, I am not. I am over it. I have moved on. I am happy with "S" and I don't think about my ex. We were not right for each other. We both knew it too.
What bothers me is that this person thinks she can get into my head.. screw me all up. She has done a fabulous job. She has kept me home from dance tonight.
Ugh.
I definitely hit a low today. I just have this sinking feeling. This feeling that I let everyone in the whole world down, to make myself happy. Now that I'm happy, no one else is. So I feel guilty.
Here we go again with people trying to bring me down. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I letting this happen?
I just devoured a bowl of ice cream. I haven't had ice cream in WEEKS!
I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. I AM DETERMINED TO.
I just need to clear my head tonight.
Karla will be back in action next Thursday for dance. She will be fierce... and she'll get some major ass. I just know it.
Mrs. Lathrop is in my head.
I hear her saying: "Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Keep smiling."
Kill them with kindness.
I'm trying. I really am. I can do it. I know I can.
til next time,
Karla =) =) =)
Don't let her get to you hon and don't feel guilty for being happy. I know you know better! :)
ReplyDeleteKarla - My heart goes out to you! I hope you have a better evening. I'm not sure what the situation between you and your ex was and I don't know what this person said but you're right...you have to rise above this!
ReplyDeleteI truly feel sorry for girls that attack others. I had a similar experience with T's ex g/f(who was his love interest at the time). I'll save that for a post though.
Whatever these people are doing to bring you down, fight it! I truly hope your evening gets better and you can find a way to fight through the feelings of guilt.
Dont forget: Keep Smiling!
Boo on the negative nancy that decided to butt into your business and bring you down!!
ReplyDeletePeople have this way of knowing exactly what button to push sometimes. I don't know how they do it...but they do.
What's important is that you start to learn how to IGNORE the button when it's being pushed. Just cause the alarm is starting to go off doesn't mean you have to pay attention.
You are strong. You don't need her approval of your life.
SCREW HER and get back to being happy with you :)