Judge Free Zone

Today's post is a small spin off of another post that I read today from, Mrs. Sheila at one pretty little box. The post is here. I hope she doesn't mind me doing this. I have been reading her blog for some time now and her posts have always inspired me. This time, her post inspired me to write my own thoughts about judging others and comparing yourself to others. I encourage all of you to go check out her amazing blog.

So here it goes.

We alllll do it. As Mrs. Sheila mentioned. We all judge people and try and compare ourselves to others and what we think we should look like or be like or whatever. I have friends that find themselves feeling better about themselves if they see someone whom they feel is not as attractive as they are. And... I will admit... I HAVE DONE THAT.

I have struggled with this for a long time. With dance practice, dance competitions, and the very high and intense competitiveness that is involved with dancing.... I have dealt with the judging and comparing before. I am an expert at it. I am an expert at looking at all the skinny, beautiful dancers that I see EVERYDAY and wishing that I TOO looked like them or danced like them. "IF ONLY I was that thin.... IF ONLY I had her body structure....IF ONLY, IF ONLY, IF ONLY"

I drove myself insane. There were times in dance practice where I would be too focused on how depressed I was that I didn't look like most of the other girls, that I was kicked out of class. Yes, my dance class is THAT hardcore. The instructor noticed that I was so zoned out and was not getting any of the steps right. She said, "Karla, your head doesn't seem in it today, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Come back when your ready to dance"

Of course, I came back the very next practice. But was I really ready to dance? Was I ready to JUST focus on dancing and not on the fact that I don't feel pretty, skinny... all those things?

No. I was not.

That was almost a year ago. Am I ready now?

Absolutely.

I have freed myself. I go to dance with my head held high. I am no longer embarrassed, no longer ashamed. No longer feel the need to compare myself to others. No longer feel the need to CONSTANTLY judge. It was ruining my friendships with my teammates. It was ruining my dancing. It was ruining our dancing as a group. It was ruining my life.

Sure, it had a lot to do with me "bettering myself". I lost the weight. I lost 21 pounds. But it is not just about the weight. It's about me finally accepting myself. Accepting who I am and being okay with that. Being okay with the fact that I will NEVER be a size 0 or 2 or 4 no matter how much weight I lose. Being okay with the fact that I don't have the typical dancer body but I can assure you that I can kick ass on the dance floor. Being okay with the fact that I will ALWAYS have cellulite!!!! ;-)

I got my life back when I stopped judging... when I stopped comparing. I even think I have more friends because of it. I am more approachable. More open. More me!

I love me.

Do you love you?

til next time,

Karla =)