that one day.... I can be a Rockette!
Here is my dilemma... this dream seems way too out of reach. =(
Okay..so this post has NOTHING to do with the whole reason for this blog. I know..... I said I would stop going off on tangents with my posts and use this blog to talk about fitness and weight loss and stuff... but I need to vent.
So I had a long week at school. Lots of homework, tons of reading... and lately... I have been feeling like I want to change my major. I have not been happy with what I am doing and I have found myself sitting in class wondering... "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE???"
I am majoring in Elementary Education. It is a 5 year program. I am just beginning my 4th year. And I am now FINALLY realizing... OH SH*T.... maybe this isn't for me?
My passion is DANCE. I want to DANCE.
But, dance is not where the money is. And... well... I need money. And I would like to be able to live comfortably.
This dream of being a Rockette just seems more and more superficial.
People laugh when I say that one day I would love to try-out. Even my own parents/family. Although my BF and immediate friends do support me.
* So tonight, I had a conversation with my Mom that ended in tears. I broke down, telling her how all I do is sit in school ALL day and then come back to my apartment and do more sitting because I have homework. I am not doing what I love to do... dance. Yes... I am part of a dance school but I only dance once a week.
I found the perfect opportunity to dance with my college's dance team. But, tryouts are THIS Saturday and I don't think I will feel comfortable since I don't know ANYBODY.
I just wish I was dancing. I wish I was studying dance. I wish that one day, my dream of being a Rockette could become just a little closer to reality. It doesn't have to BE reality... but just ... close.
My Mom just reassured me that everything will be fine. That I should plug along with my major because one day, I will be glad for it.
And sure, she's probably right.
But it's not what I love. And, right now... I just know that I am NO WHERE near my dream. And I am not doing what I love. And I don't know what to do about it.
And that ends my sappy, feeling sorry for myself post. Yuck.
-Karla =(
Oh Karla.....I truly understand.
ReplyDeleteI think you will dance always and I hope it is in your dream situation
Hugs
Linda
I think you should try out this saturday. I truly do. If dance is what you want to do, and that's the opportunity given to you, then why let a little discomfort of the unknown keep you from it?!??!?!?
ReplyDeleteYou can totally do it. And once you do you can meet those people and get to know them!
I agree with Brandi. You should try out. How wonderful would it be to dance EVERY DAY with a team? It might be what you need to get through this year.
ReplyDeleteI kind of agree with your mom, stick it out, you will be thankful for it...but I'm not much of a risk taker.
If you don't want to stick it out, you have to throw yourself 200% into dance - classes all the time, auditions, etc. Go big or go home. Your blog buddies will support you!
Tough choices, I know!